A thorny problem, indeed!

 TO LOVE or NOT...

"And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;
That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ<sup>." (Phil 1.9,10)

Recently, the writer of this blog was challenged from one who said they loved her to "let me love you more."  
On the one hand the meaning could have been that the giver of the sentiment wanted to see the receiver enjoy more of the Lord's blessings by letting others "in." 
On the other hand the meaning was an affront. It seemed that the recipient was doing something wrong.  How could this giver love the recipient more?  The recipient, i.e, the writer of this blog, has  a distinct personality that keeps folks at "arms length," it's true. However, was that "wrong?"  The giver of this opinion also noted that the recipient "missed out on so much," by keeping others at arms length and not "letting them get close and love more."

Such a puzzling, worrisome thought. Prayer and meditation was given to the opinion and this is what the Lord gave:</sup>

• ^{...that your love may abound...in knowledge and...judgment} 

 ^{One can only love, feel love and receive love through the filter of life circumstances and experiences that has molded the character and spirit.  True, we are over comers in life (I Jn 4.4) by grace through faith.  Yet, all that may be given or received is what has been given or received to this point.  
Love, for some, comes easier because it has been a life long gift given affectionately.  For others, love was given out of duty.  The difference to ones personality is stark in many cases.  It makes it difficult to let others "in," because of insincerity or rejection.  Therefore, one can only give what has been received, honestly, sincerely and affectionately.
Dear reader, it isn't wrong to hold the love from another at arms length.  It doesn't mean you are hard and unfeeling.} 

^{It just means that you can't be more than you are.}

<sup>True, some will take it personally if you don't receive their love gift as wholeheartedly as they think you ought. But it means you are being honest.  Scripture encourages us to be a vessel of honor rather dishonor. (Rom 9.21)
The only way to attain this distinction is to be honest.  You love according to your "knowledge and judgment."  You judge whether one is sincere in their love for you.  You take it in that spirit that you may be "sincere and without offence." (Phil 1.10)
Of course, it goes without saying that the more you practice "love and loving" others, like the Lord Jesus, the easier it will be to receive the same.

Blessings today is our prayer.</sup>